Things have been pretty crazy around here lately. Been working like mad the last few weeks to put up my latest show, with almost no help until this past week. It's a really big show too -- my biggest yet, both costume-wise and cast-wise, and set in a time I knew nothing about, so all around pretty effing hard. There's a short video clip of the 2nd scene on the Playhouse website, and they've actually already managed to put the show photos up as well, which I believe is mainly due to recent sales drop-offs on the main stage. They're trying to account the low sales to poor advertisement, so they're trying to get the word out on this one... of course, the last show on this stage sold out every night (heck yes it did), so no worries on that ground. Anyway, to see pictures, visit http://www.playhouseonthesquare.org and click on "Compleat Female Stage Beauty" on the left (no, we didn't misspell Complete -- that's how they spelled it in 1660, and that's how the playwright wanted it spelled). You can also click on "The Great American Trailer Park Musical" if you want to see a few from my last show.
Rather than reporting directly to my boss lately, she's had me reporting to one of the higher-ups via bi-weekly e-mail reports, with minute-by-minute details of what I did that day. I have a task list, all of which are related to the move of our costume shop next week, which I am expected to have completed by then... she thinks it's a lot of work and will keep me out of her hair, but I should have it done in no time. The bad part is that she hasn't scheduled me any time at all to start on my next show, and I have first production meeting this coming Wednesday. I don't mind, though, because finally I'll have a real log of everything I do. I always tell her things like "Oh, I stopped working when everyone else was ready to leave" or "No, I left my paperwork here last night", when I really work over the number of hours we're required to every week without noting the overtime. This is because 1) I don't have time to actually *use* the overtime, nor anything to do other than work, nor money to do anything else with, and 2) she freaks out if we work over the scheduled hours, stay late at night, or fail to take our a half-hour break at 5:00 every evening (and I don't remember the last time I took my break). As it is, if I feel like I absolutely *must* get out of the house on my day off, I usually end up shopping for my show, as there really isn't much to do in this town other than shop or eat, and I don't need to shop for myself. And I'm the type of person who works till the job's done, which oftentimes means either working late at night or taking things home to finish. And I don't tell her this stuff because she freaks out. And I don't want to seem preachy or like I want attention\recognition for it... I'm just trying to do my job as well as I possibly can.
My next show should be relatively simple, though. Six people, maybe two outfits each (maybe basic outfits for one or two of them, with pieces they can change), set in 1960. The characters are Orson Welles, Joan Plowright, Laurence Olivier, Vivien Leigh, Kenneth Tynan, and a stagehand named Sean. And I'm getting a pretty early start, trying 1) not to lose the "Stage Beauty" momentum, 2) to balance the additional load of beginning my 3 summer shows via e-mail and phone conversation, and 3) needing to start thinking about packing up, getting rid of things, tying up loose ends, etc. I'm getting pretty tired of this constant moving thing and am hoping to find someplace to be for a little longer pretty soon. Maybe I can see if I can get a ship this fall, if none of my other job apps work out, and then I can pay the bills and have time to work on things like grad school applications. Of course, interviews and whatnot would be pretty hard while living on a boat, but if I find a place that wants me bad enough, they'll be willing to work it out, I'm sure.
And the real reason I decided it was time to post is this video. I was doing YouTube searches for songs we used to sing when we were kids, and I found this fantastic video of some missionaries re-enacting an odd version of the Snowman song. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we hadn't left the Church... I can't tell if life seemed so much more planned because of the Church's ideas, or if it was just because I was a kid and every new idea seemed as if it was certainly what was *going* to happen. Maybe it's just because now I only have a base, where the Church set up walls -- for better or worse.
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4 comments:
If you are not a thinker or if you want everything laid out for you then the church works to a certain degree. If offers what seems a safe place at first. If you want to stay on the surface of it and not get into the nitty gritty of it it looks good and works on some level.
As I have told you I know people who should never leave because they can't function without that structure. Unfortunately that same structure imposes limits that aren't desirable.
If the foundations were true, if it wasn't based on lies, it might make more sense for me.
Being in AND out of it as an adult makes it different for me. I can see how SO very much better my life is now and I will never go back. I do think many people stay because it is predictable and safe. Real life isn't.
You do what you can to make your life "safe". Nobody else do it for you.
I don't really understand the whole work description you wrote. It sounds like office politics to me. Just keep the people happy who give your references to the next employer.
All I really know is that you are working so hard and I wish you were closer to home so I could give you a little more support in some way.
I am incredibly proud of you. You are a strong and independent person who takes responsibility for herself. That may seem like nothing special but I see my friend's kids and honey, believe me, it is a big deal.
Just don't forget there is a soft place to fall here when you need it.
I love you so much it hurts.
I had a boss similar to what you are describing once. I killed him and then buried his body in the middle of a 1000 acre hunting club. Actually it was two clubs side by side but you get the picture. Want aunt Sonya to come for a visit love? LOL!
Serious note now that Maybe I made you laugh. Your mom's post was dead on. On what sounds like office politics; Hold your head high and do your best. We all know that you do an excellent job. Most of the time someone who is this way they see something in you that they do not have.
You are an amazing and talented person Laura. I saw that years ago when you were younger. You have done things that I was always too afraid to step out and do. Do your job to the best of your ability and then move to the next one. Unless she is an awful person then you will receive a good reference based on the fact that you do your job and you do it superbly.
Chin up sweets and full steam ahead. Lots of gooey aunt sentiments follow now! with love and hugs I leave you.
Thanks to the both of you for your advice. I'm trying to focus on just doing my job rather than anything personal at the moment, which can be difficult because as an intern, Playhouse basically owns us for the year: 50-plus hours and six days a week minimum, and they take away our day off or create events with longer work hours when they feel like it. We also have to live and work with the same people, so there's no escaping, and they don't pay us enough to even be able to skip town for the day off. So it's hard to separate work from personal life and remember that these people are *coworkers* first, and friends second if I so choose, and none of them have any claim whatsoever on who I am as a person. I don't know if it's the quickening end to the contract, or the effect of a lazy day off, or the fact that I spent most of that day reading "Little Women", but I'm feeling very much like starting this week out as turn-the-other-cheek -- or at least as grin-and-bear-it. Hopefully it'll last.
hey there - met you on ravelry - wow! your job situation sounds rough and the sad thing is, i have been there - am there will be there. There is politics in theatre and it is worse when you are the intern who is getting dumped on - there will always be those drama situations but not always bad - it is just the combination of certain personalities that doesn;t always work - i have been happy at my present job until 5 months ago when a new person came in to make my life miserable. Will only communicate via email etc
good luck with the next round of life. There seem to be a lot of ex LDS folk entering my life right now...strange :) btw -that video cracked me up! i have heard stories of bored missions while at the mtc....
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